Week 45 of 2013 starts tomorrow which means that the year is nearly at a close. 8 weeks though is a long enough time to achieve those goals that you had promised to accomplish 45 weeks ago when 2013 was commencing. In 8 weeks you can have two periods which is important for those trying to conceive whether through the usual methods (date night, some wine and sweet nothings) or through assisted conception (injections, donor, nurse phoning with instructions). In 8 weeks you can lose 4 to 8 kilograms through calorie controlled eating and exercise. In 8 weeks you can finish off most of a university semester and be closer to graduation. In 8 weeks you only have 10 more months before you are divorced from that controlling husband who tells everyone how bad you are. The number 8 on its side is the infinity sign. You can go on and on ad infinitum doing the same stuff and getting nowhere. The same New Years resolutions, the same relationships with arseholes and the same excuses which are really about you believing yourself to be a victim. Nothing will change for you unless you make a change in your thinking and behaviour. The shape of the 8 is symmetrical and balanced. There is an equilibrium in its form and its function. It happily rests on its laurels vertically and horizontally. Can you say that about yourself? Have a think about what you would like to do in the remaining 8 weeks of this year.  Can you do it alone?  Whose help do you need?  Start today as 8 will soon turn into 7 which is not necessarily a luckier number to work with.  Wouldn’t you like to hear the story of a woman 8 weeks in love? 8 weeks pregnant? 8 kilograms lighter?  I am fortunate to hear client stories like these. If you need help to rewrite your story for the end of 2013 then please contact me.

I say the word connected and you probably think of Facebook or that I am advertising a mobile phone plan. I am talking about being connected to people in ways that involve physical proximity. Of course you can have emotional connection without leaving your home and through the tapping of your fingers on a keyboard. Would you prefer to connect with your child through an SMS or through walking with her to school? Yes we are all busy but not too busy that we do not have to hold our mobile phones in one hand and tap away with the fingers in our other hand as we post photos and send witty text. I say that in the time that we spend trying to stay connected we could have walked over to a neighbour and used one  of our hands to hold our keys and the other hand to knock on their house door. I bet most of us could have driven to a friend too! So next time you think you are connected, think again. You are less connected than you think. Is that how you want to be?

The Watcher

Pamela observed him from inside the warmth of her sun room   She gazed in abandonment at the smoothness of his torso.  Upright he stood oblivious to her enraptured looks.  Her eyes fixated on his gleaming form.  Her brow furrowed in thought and she became aware of the pool of wetness on her upper lip.  The hairs on her arms bristled tautly.  A certain discomfort and tension flowed through her limbs.  Still she observed him with an awareness of her breathing more shallowed and laboured.  He, rigid and poised, unaware of his watcher.  Arching backwards she writhed in waves of numbness.  A cry escaped from her moist lips.  With a final effort she pulled herself out of her vulnerable position and shouted, “Pepe come here now you naughty boy”.  Pamela was a woman who hated her mother’s hard wicker chair and her beloved greyhound digging holes in her petunia bed.  

Did you think that this was a piece of erotica?  Did you think that this was another “50 shades of” type of story?  Were you disappointed to find out that the story was about a woman watching her dog?  

Sometimes our expectations are not met.  Does that mean that we should be disappointed?  No.  What sets apart a person with resilience and optimism is his/her reaction to an unmet expectation.  The person reading the story above who had a laugh at being tricked is the person who is resilient and can bounce back from something not going entirely the way it was expected to go.  

Which person were you?  Which person do you want to be?  Start today being that person!  Expectations and disappointment do not need to go hand in hand.

It is the second month of the year and we all have settled in to 2013. Some of you have settled children into their new school year, some of you are hoping for romance on the 14th and some of you are working through your new year resolutions. However you decide to spend the second month of the year I say do it without worry. Think fancy free, think fun, think me first. I say that the second month of the year is about putting yourself first. Commit to yourself in February and you will want to continue that commitment to your needs all year. Don’t be shy and start today.

Strength is knowing what you want and seeking it without needing anyone’s permission or applause. Deep down we all know what we really want in life. What separates the people who seek what they want and those who don’t is fear. If you are scared to do something on your own or if you are scared that others won’t approve then you are unlikely to seek the thing that you want. By thing I mean a partner, a job, a material possession, better health, in fact any thing. I say be strong, have faith in yourself and go forth and seek the thing that makes you happy.