A smile is the most simple of accessories to add to your daily life.  Yes there are days where smiling is akin to wearing uncomfortable shoes.  As you would swap the shoes for a more suitable pair do the same with your smile.  You do not need to beam a huge pearly white smile to all. Curl your lips up into a small smile and hold.  It helps to think of something nice like cute puppies, a bunch of flowers or your favourite team’s last win.  Your smile is unique to you and it is that uniqueness that people like about you even on the days that you do not appreciate you.

The launch of beyondblue Man Therapy this week highlighted the fact that men are less likely to complain enough to show others around them that perhaps there is a need for a talk with a psychologist.  My male clients have a problem or two and want guidance and strategies to manage.   If before their appointment they have not already truly realized that they need to talk to an objective outsider, they soon do so in the early part of the consultation.  They learn that to be a man does not mean to suffer in silence or to pretend that all is well.  They learn that being vulnerable is not associated with being weak.  They express feelings and thoughts in a safe environment that is my room and take a risk to do so in their other environments.  They admit their limitations and accept direction.  Do you have a man who matters and needs a safe place to talk and be who he is?  Is the significant man in your life depressed, angry, stressed?  Are you a man who needs a gentle push to become the man he knows he can be?  The doors of My Psychologist are open to all the men who matter.

At some point we need to decide whether to keep on doing the same old or to embrace something new.  I love crime and mystery novels and love to try and work out whodunnit.  Guess what?  I am currently reading a Mills and Boon novel which I would rate as G.  I have persisted to read something that I would not have considered to be worth reading.  I am enjoying the gentle dialogue between the characters and the pleasant scenery.  The pace is slower and I know the ending.  I like the surprise of enjoying something different.  Why don’t you consider to do the unexpected too?

The sun is out and people are embracing the change in the weather by baring their skin more.  Change is supposedly in the air today if you believe the polls in the Election.  There have been reveals of policies and accusations of wrongdoings as well as statements of how the other party will do things better for our greater good.  It all sounds like what I hear from clients.  There are claims of wanting to change (I want to be happier, I want to give up smoking), there are strategies (I have joined a gym, I have quit my job) and there are statements of blame (my parents did not love me, my ex partner cheated on me, my boss hates me).  I have a sign in the office that states that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  Do you choose to be insane?  Shed what weighs you down (your depression, your anger, your pain).  Why is it easier to shed a layer of clothing but not let go of a hurt (the words we have heard from others and ourselves)?  Just do one thing different and you will have a different result.  Let go of one complaint.  Wear a different colour.  Vote for a political party who really talks to your beliefs whether it is gay marriage, carbon tax or the level of educational funding.  Take a chance and do something that is different.  Change to be sane.  

My letter was published in the letters to the editor section of The Advertiser today.

I read the article “Involved parents the key to learning success” (The Advertiser, 6/12/12) and I thoroughly agree that parents can positively influence a child's learning.

Obviously some children are cared for by others than their parents, so the list of significant and influential adults needs to at least include grandparents.

Another group of people to add to the list are psychologists, like myself. Psychologists can assess cognitive functioning, identify learning needs, provide recommendations about learning activities, discuss curriculum and provide parenting advice about how to engage with a child.

Yes, there is a cost associated with seeing a psychologist. That cost is small and benign when compared to the cost (meaning negative impact) to the child who has low self-esteem, is disengaged from learning and underachieves.