A role model is someone who others look up to, who has qualities that others would like to have or demonstrates conduct that others want to emulate.  As a psychologist I believe that I am a role model to my clients.  How can I be asking a client to manage their pain differently and to be considering using lower dose medication and incorporating pacing activities if I am using only Panadeine Forte to manage headaches, refuse to reduce my stress or have my eyesight reviewed?  If a client asked me if I did what I was asking him/her to do, I want to be able to answer Yes.  Credentials do not give you credibility.

Role models are not only professionals.  Footballers, actresses and singers are placed in positions of importance and idolisation by fans and Likers.  I do not consider myself an idol for anyone.  Nor do I have paparazzi following my every move or millions of followers (yet!). Young people especially girls are especially loyal to their media crush.  One such media crush is One Direction.  Recently Zayn and Louis were in the media for all the wrong reasons. Footage showed scenes and dialogue involving a joint.

Yes they are pop stars and yes pop stars of days gone by have smoked dope so really this is nothing too new and unexpected.  The issue here is about credibility.  Their market is the teen market predominantly and the age of their followers is that of minors who ideally should not know what a joint looks like.  Ideally their parents are not smoking anything in their presence. Some of the fans have been shocked and appalled by their behaviour whereas others think that if Zayn and Louis can be part of the dope experience then why can’t they?  If it is good enough for them, then why not us?

My advice to the management of One Direction is to admit that taking drugs is risky to people’s wellbeing and that they do not encourage anyone to start using marijuana.  The potential of psychotic symptoms has always scared me.  One Direction must realise that they are influential in young girls’ lives and that if they want to accept their role model status then they need to match image to behaviour otherwise their credibility will be questioned further as their young fans become older fans.

Yes I will be going to their Adelaide concert on 17/2/15.  I invite Zayn and Louis to book a consultation with a credible role model with credentials.

You: I miss Ben.  I think about him all the time. She: Who’s Ben? You: My cat. She: Oh.

Your pet provides unconditional affection and is a constant companion. You show it love and care.  You have daily rituals such as walking and playing and even the food that you offer your pet is carefully selected. Your pet is an important member of your family.

You know that one day in many years to come to your pet will pass away.  You hope though that it does so at a very old age without pain.  You hope that it never become lost or seriously unwell. You worry thinking about this. You may even feel guilty that you have not cared for your pet enough.

No matter what other emotions you experience it is a given that you will feel sad when your pet passes away.  Grieving for human loss is expected but grieving for a pet? You may wonder if the sadness that you feel is normal.  Should you be worried about your feelings as after all, it was a cat and not a person? Will others understand? Or will they see you as odd?

Of course, we know that pets are not human.  That does not mean that our bond with them is not strong and real. You are not silly for crying over your 6-year-old dog who passed from complications during surgery.  Understand the stages of grief-denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance and know that these are not linear and there is no timeline.  The uniqueness of you means that your grief will not be the same as someone else.

Gather your human supports and give yourself permission to feel as you need to feel.  Connect with other people and your other pets blogger.  Accept that you did the best that you could have done for your pet. Show compassion to yourself.  Remember your pet and do not rush to replace him/her.  That time may come.

If you find that your grief is relentless and you feel that it will be enduring then it may be time to consult a psychologist.

At My Psychologist we will listen with empathy, take your concerns seriously and offer strategies to reduce your level of distress.  We care about your wellbeing.  You are in safe hands.

Please call us on 0427277237 to make an appointment.

Mental health difficulties are not rare. Whether you suffer from mental illness or know someone who does, it is important that you know the signs of psychological unwellness. Do not be too proud or afraid to ask for help. Approach someone and share.   Be kind and brave and help someone you think is unwell.  Ask the difficult question. Listen without judgment. Read the information in the image I have posted which is from page 17 of The Advertiser, 9/1/16. Educate yourself. It could save a life.

Hands up who has bought an adult colouring in book recently.  Despite the hype I have not.  I prefer to doodle and create my own drawings rather than be faced with the busy and intricate drawings of adult colouring in books.  What interests me is how many adults would use an eraser to correct their colour choices and perfect their artwork.  In therapy I listen to clients talk about themselves as if they are badly drawn and need erasing and re sketching.  They as art are not worthy of inclusion in even a colouring in book.  They want a big eraser to remove the poorly defined outline and nondescript colours of their representation.  There are so many rubbings out that it is impossible to know what the image on the page actually is. The artist is unsure and awkward.  They doubt their skill and whether there is an audience interested in their work.  Are you that artist?  Do you second guess your abilities?  Do you doubt the appeal of your art?  Have you put away your pencils too depressed? As you attend classes to learn something new or build on existing skills and knowledge, you can participate in psychology therapy for the same reasons. Enrol in a class with My Psychologist.  A scribble here, a shading there. Refining here and defining there.  Come and confirm your genius. Produce the masterpiece that is you.