Social media savvy people know of FOMO. Today I want to talk about foMo fear of moving on, emphasis on the M representing Moving. My client work involves movement. To make change there needs to be some type of shift. A shift in thinking, a shift in doing, a shift in focus. If there is no shift, that is no movement, there can be no change. If I want to reduce my worry about the future which I perceive as gloomy and frightening I need to consider a shift of my focus from my internal thoughts and bodily sensations of anxiety and to consider shifting my attention to the comfortable seat I am in, the smell of coffee in my mug beside me and the warmth of the room thanks to my air conditioning. That involves another M for mindfulness. Attending to the present and moving my focus away from the shapeless form of tomorrow could mean an opportunity for greater definition and clarity of today. The truth is that the future has elements of the unknown and I say that is a good thing. For that worried person who is contemplating a future that is the same as the present this surely is a truth that they would be happy to embrace. Guaranteed future anxiety based on present anxiety versus possible future anxiety as the future is not totally known? I know which version I would prefer. Fear of moving on (foMo) keeps all of us stuck. Let go of the unkindness in your head, let go of the tension in your neck, move towards the embrace of a partner, run faster towards the finish line, reach upwards and grab the hand of support and lift your head up higher than ever. Just move.
Indulgence is not a dirty word. It is OK to eat chocolate and to have a glass of wine and to even do these two things simultaneously while your children watch TV. As adults we do not need permission to enjoy our pleasures. Nor should there be associated guilt. As I read the newspaper I read that it is ok to have chocolate and hot cross buns as long at they are eaten in moderation. Indulgence it seems has to have limits. You can’t have too much of a good thing. I suppose it depends on your choice of a good thing. If it was ice which unfortunately I hear about often in consultations, then I would say you need to rethink your indulgence. Maybe you can consider ice baths instead which I enjoy. Most of us choose indulgences that are not illegal and are safe. We indulge in moderation most times. We have life experience to work out how much of the indulgence we can tolerate. So today if you are offered a chocolate egg say thank you. Obviously take into account any dietary restrictions due to medical conditons. After all you are an adult and responsible. Tear open the wrapper and bite into the chocolate. Enjoy the moment for it will be soon gone. Go on indulge yourself. You are worth it.
Most of you would know the show The Biggest Loser and most of you would have an opinion about the contestants and trainers. I admit that I watch it. I am interested in the degree of persistence and patience demonstrated by contestants as well as appreciating the psychological factors impacting on each contestant’s starting weight. I watch for the light globe moment when a contestant realizes how his/her psychological state has contributed to his/her weight. Low impulse control and low self-love has led to overeating. I then wait for the light globe moment when a contestant realizes that he/she matters and a commitment is made to his/her health. Overeating and being overweight is rarely linked to long term good health. I listen to the contestants talk about themselves in kinder words. They are on a journey that requires a lifetime commitment to a positive relationship with food. Food like most things in life requires an understanding of moderation. Kindness on the other hand can be associated with excess. Be kind to yourself and let me help you learn how to manage your weight.
Last week as part of International Women’s Week we read about influential women. Unfortunately I was not interviewed! I am guessing neither were you. What makes someone influential? Do they need to find a cure for cancer or work for a charity? How everyday can that person be? Am I influential? Are you? The answer is Yes. The difference is that those acknowledged have either done their influencing longer, have influenced many rather than few or are just better at media exposure perhaps. Please do not diminish the power of your influence over the significant few or many in your life. Are you a mum who is teaching nice manners to your child? Are you a person like me who responded to requests from year 12 students seeking answers to their research projects? Are you the teacher who replaced a stolen item to the child who was saddened by its loss? The teacher, the mum and the psychologist are all influential. We all made an impact on someone. We all can seek greatness in others and ourselves. Do not worry about podiums and popularity, the number of likes or your Linkedin endorsements. None of these are indicators of greatness or influence in my opinion. I like the meaning of influential that equates it to guiding and inspiring. Join me in embracing those qualities that I know that we possess and value. Influence away. “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing” (Albert Schweitzer).